Overcoming My Emotional Stress and Post-Viral Anxiety After Severe Chickenpox Infection

It has been over a month now since I had a chickenpox viral infection. It was a severe case and for adults like me, it can lead to death because of possible complications. Thank God, it wasn’t that crucial. But every time I look into the mirror, the scars are reminders of how terrible the infection was–that it has almost drowned me into the depth of depression.

Sounds like I’m over exaggerating this but it was seriously the worst days of my life and until now, I feel like I am still living on that moment because I really never expected for this to happen. And I don’t know when will I ever get over it.

If you want to see how bad it was and the damage it has caused me, you can watch the video below.

Luckily, I survived.

But during the time of the infection, I kept on telling my boyfriend how it honestly depresses me– that it has really dragged my self-confidence to the lowest. I can’t imagine myself going out anymore and facing people with how I looked like and I’m just glad that he’s just there comforting me & he never leaves my side.

The viral infection didn’t just leave deep and worse scars all over my body especially to my face, but it also intensifies my pre-existing anxiety disorder.

It has caused me to worry excessively about my health. Whenever I see little bumps on my face or in some parts of my body and even on times when I feel a little sick, I usually overthink about it and I get so worried so much that sometimes I lose my sleep and I wake up in the morning feeling sad and empty. I honestly don’t want to feel all this post-viral stuff that is happening to me now because it just depresses me more.

I never had acne my whole life and that’s when it hits me of how strong people who have extreme acne and much worse scars than I have deal on their own horrifying situations. That thought motivates me to overcome what I had been through.

I realized how blessed  I am and loved by a lot of people, especially my family and my boyfriend, who really loves me for me regardless of anything and  no matter how I looked like. They reminded me of how much love that I have once for myself. I remembered it and then slowly, I regained my self-confidence.

I got back up.

Filming with no make up on (only fresh chickenpox scars on my face) and posting it online took me a lot of courage to finally do it. Not everyone can say,“Get well soon!” or “You can get through it.” There will be some who will hate me for looking hideous but, that’s the reality of life. It can happen to anyone. That video is merely just a reminder for us to take care of ourselves more– that loving ourselves is also about taking care of our physical health and that it is also as important as taking care of our mental health.

I always believe that on some people– mental, emotional, and physical health can either make you or break you as a person. It just a matter of balancing it all out and making sure that none of the three will be left behind.

If you’re still reading up to here, thank you so much for hearing me out! 🙂
Any words of encouragement will be greatly appreciated. ♥

 

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Comments

  • July 6, 2019

    Aww. You are very brave! I’ve never had chicken pox in my entire life so just the thought of it scares me, especially now that I’m an adult. Pero I admire you for your confidence to write about it and share it here. I know it takes a lot of courage to do that. You are blessed to have family and friends who makes you feel that you don’t need to feel bad or insecure. 🙂

    reply
    • Misskhae
      July 7, 2019

      Honestly, it’s really overwhelming to be blessed with people who doesn’t make me feel bad about myself & that includes you. Thank you for such a very sweet words. Ugh! You are sooo nice to me. :)) Prevention is better cure, they say. Please take extra care of yourself since you travel din a lot. This experience talaga kase makes me want to remind all the people I know na palaging mag iingat. Mwa!

      reply
      • July 8, 2019

        Pero wait. Saan mo daw ba nakuha? (if okay lang). I pray for complete healing sayo, physically and emotionally! ❤️

        reply
        • Misskhae
          July 8, 2019

          Yes okay lang 🙂 In my case, hindi naman ako nahawa. Yung chickenpox virus kase daw talaga, it stayed dormant sa nerves ko ever since I had it nung bata pa ako. Then ngayon na-activate kase super weak ng immune system ko and during tag init, nasa air na kase yugng virus tapos nung nakuha ko, talagang kinapitan yung katawan ko agad because of stress. Ayun 🙁 naka trigger din yung stress and immune system talaga dahil pwede naman sya malanghap ng kahit na sino pero di naman daw sya kakapit sa mga malalakas ang immune system.

          reply
          • July 21, 2019

            Oh no! Better keep our immune system strong talaga noh? Huhu. Now lang ako ulit naka check ng WordPress! Feeling ko ang tagal kong waley. Hahaha.

          • Misskhae
            July 22, 2019

            Uuuuuyyy! OMG what have u been up to lately aside from being a young misis? Hahaha medyo matagal tagal ka din di naka online and nakakapost ah 😀 Anyway I hope ure doing okay 🙂 And yeees, let’s always keep our immune system strong. Stay safe, okay? Mwa

          • July 22, 2019

            Was dealing with major anxiety the past weeks so I decided to just stay away from social media muna to keep me sane. Haha. Hopefully next week makapost na nga ulit ako eh. You’re too sweet!! Thanks dear!

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